After three days/nights with the kids...

...we're all still alive and kickin'...literally. While playing with Max last night I got kicked in the middle of my forehead. Thank Jebus he wasn't wearing his rubber snow boots as he's apt to do, otherwise I may still be laying on the living room floor.

I learned something last night.

You do not take two children out to a restaurant without the aid of another parent. My parents invited us out to eat at the local fine dining (Applebee's) and it was dental surgery from the beginning. For starters, we had to wait for nearly a half an hour for a table due to the fact that 87 bus-loads of high school track athletes showed up immediately before we did. Apparently, it's illegal for high schoolers to sit more than 3 to a table/booth. And even though we had 6 people, including 2 baby/toddlers, the hostess wasn't afraid to ask "would you be willing to sit at a high top?" You know, I'd love to, but the two small children demolishing your waiting area are gonna need to sit someplace as well. Unless you'd like to have us leave them over here while we eat?

The entire time we waited, Max was uncontrollable. He wanted to sit...he wanted to stand...he wanted to run on the bench...he wanted to climb....he wanted to see the jackalope...he wanted to eat cereal....he wanted to go potty....he wanted to talk to the poor family on the other side of the railing....he wanted his shoes off....he wanted his shoes on....he wanted his pants off....he wanted candy....he wanted fruit snacks...he wanted to go to the park....he wanted to make popcorn....he wanted to show me his big feet (which entails stomping loudly on the bench for everyone in the tri-state area to hear). It couldn't have been more stressful if I had been sitting with butcher knife-wielding Chucky doll.

When seated, my conversation with the waitress went something like this:

"Sir, would you like something to drink?"
"Yes...beer."
"What kind of beer, sir?"
"A big one, with alcohol in it."

Max then refused to eat his hamburger, choosing only to eat the pieces of my Cesar salad that he did NOT drop into my drink, until it was time to leave and which point he demanded that he be allowed to eat it. And in an effort to avoid yet another fit, he ate his burger in the car.

Lucy did not want to eat anything at all, opting instead to use every food item on her plate as a utensil she could lick ketchup off of. Oh wait. Strike that. She did eat something...half of a blue crayon. That should be interesting tomorrow morning.