....ahoy my merry handful of readers. I was gone for some time on a spiritual sojourn (that incidentally has left me much much less spiritual) but like Odysseus, I have returned. Actually, what happened was less a self-searching journey and more a "bored with writing the blog" hiatus. Oh, and I got an iPhone and that TOTALLY took up a ton of my free time. So....anyway....
My wife and I love our house. It's a charming little bungalow in a good neighborhood. It has tons of character and seems to fit our personalities well. But it does have some negatives. It was built in the early 20's out of bricks that need tuck-pointing and white trim that needs yearly painting. If either material is left un-attended, the house begins to look all "Last House on the Left" and haunted. It has a 60 year-old boiler that runs at about 50% efficiency, smells like gas and looks like a green version of the B9 Robot from Lost in Space. It suffers from ice dams during the winter due to it's shitty gutter system and poorly insulated attic. A recent bout with ice dams resulted in the pantry's ceiling coming down, followed by portions of the dining room ceiling, four walls and the decimation of one original window sill. If not for State Farm's help, we would be living in a mold-infested deathtrap that would make a FEMA trailer seem like a Fijian Villa. It has electrical "issues" (read "wires and shit running everywhere downstairs"). The dude that owned the house before us was an electrical engineer and he did a lot of his own handiwork. Unfortunately for us, it was never documented and now the breaker for the dining room (the box for which looks like the lady who got eaten by the computer in Superman III) turns off the microwave and the outlet on the front porch is turned on and off according to a dimmer switch in Omaha. The sprinkler system had failed to operate since the neighbors decided to put a fence on their property and sever the line from the well thereby leaving our lawn looking like one of those agri-business weed test patches. And to top it off, the house is fairly drafty. Not like "George Bailey's House" drafty. But leaky enough to make it about as energy efficient as a coal-powered Hummer.
So considering the above, my wife and I began toying with the idea of selling our home. We had contemplated that with the money we would receive from the sale we could pay down some debt and put a significant amount of money down on a new home that had recently been built or was being built at the time. On paper, the plan was flawless. It didn't seem unreasonable. But we quickly learned that when it comes to real estate in southwestern North Dakota...check with your doctor to make sure you are healthy enough for a severe disconnect from reality.
We bought our house back in 2004 for a really good price. We bought it during the original "economic downturn" period when housing prices in the area were depressed. Now, however, North Dakota claims one of the nation's only growing economies, a billion dollar budget surplus and a surging building market. All of this on account of the always-popular liquefied dinosaurs flowing about underneath the state...Oil. Southwestern North Dakota's oil reserves are legendary. And now, with the addition of new technology combined with soaring petroleum prices, the companies have come in droves to suck it out of the ground. There are benefits and burdens abound. While the population influx has brought with it a stream of new money to this semi-rural economy, you can't find a freakin' hotel room within 100 miles. While there are more jobs to choose from in the oil patch, the local businesses are suffering. After all, it's hard to keep employees when your competition is offering 25 bucks an hour, a service vehicle and daily bjs. And while temporary housing and rental properties have begun popping up like Whackamoles to help shelter workers, the general moral compass of those people RENTING buildings in the area has taken a giant shit. Rent prices in Dickinson and the surrounding towns have soared to levels that rival those in Manhattan. A studio apartment in Hebron set up to house 4 guys in one room you ask? How's $3000/month sound? Hey HGTV, you want a show that people will watch? Drop that Selling New York ditty and replace it with a Selling North Dakota. Who WOULDN'T want to watch two transient oil workers from Alabama literally shit in their pants when the local realtor tells them they could rent a basement broom closet for 1500 bucks a month? I'm telling you...can't miss TV. And unfortunately for the people on our position...those looking for a newer home...the same thing has happened to the home purchasing and building prices. If a guy wants a new house or one that was recently built, he better prepare get to selling one of his unnecessary organs...cause that SOB is going to cost him. I remember a home in one the nicer neighborhoods in town going for 600K. The freakin' Silverdome just sold for 500K in Detroit. But people say "Come on Jay...that's Detroit!" Ummm...people...this is DICKINSON.
My analogy for the current housing market in Dickinson is this scenario:
"I'm looking for some new lawn decorations...ours are getting kinda bland and outdated. Still Ok, but older."
"Hey pal, you could buy this nice pile of scrap metal and crispy dog shit in my backyard!"
"Well, I was kind of hoping to upgrade"
"Hey, this scrap metal and dog shit is much newer than the decorations you have now and besides I heard if you sell YOUR decorations, you could make twice what you bought them for."
"It IS nice that I could get that much money for my decorations. And it IS nice that you have all that metal and dog shit for sale. What's the price?"
"It would be 3 times what you bought your original decorations for."
"But then I would be just taking the money I MADE on my adequate decorations and putting it into overpriced dog shit, right?"
"It's NEW overpriced dog shit though....don't forget."
"Noted. So, if I do this, what are the prospects of me selling it again in 15 years for full price?"
"Come on dude....it's fucking dog shit."
Needless to say, my wife and I ran like the Kenyan Olympic team from that idea. Instead, we've refinanced at a much lower percentage and taken out some money in equity. I thought we should blow it all on Miller High Life Lite and Space Camp. But Shanna said no....we paid down ALL of our non-law school and housing debt, fixed most of the problems stated above, replaced the musty old basement carpet and bought some new shiny crap for the kitchen. Probably the more responsible option. But seriously, I wanted to go on that weightless airplane thing SUPER bad.
Maybe next economic boom.
0 comments:
Post a Comment