Way to go Morneau!!!!

Justin Morneau lost the sprint, but won the marathon when he outlasted Josh Hamilton who put on one of the most ridiculous displays of power I have ever seen. I damned near shed a tear knowing the backstory. But the 28 smashes he hit in round one wore him down as he couldn't duplicate the magic in the finals. Just like his MVP year...no one really wanted him to win, but he did anyway.

Good on the Mountie.

Indians have "a-ha" moment on Saturday...

When they realized to themselves..."So THAT'S why Minnesota didn't want this guy anymore."

Indians up by 7, they put Rincon in, and he gave up his team's only four earned runs against during the game.

From one of the best set-up men in the game to pure filth. It's too bad really. I thought he was VERY good in the Johan Santana/Michael Cuddyer magician ad.

Morneau says "OK" to home run derby...

Last year Morneau went into the all-star break with a billion homers and took part in the home run derby. He didn't fare too well and his swing was pretty much AWOL the rest of the year. I think I remember him stating that the derby helped dick up his rhythm. Once again, he's having a stellar first half. And although he initially said that he wouldn't participate in the derby this season, alas, he has decided to give it another go.

The contest is tonight at 6pm Mountain Time. Support him in his bid to bring the dinger crown back to...Canada. And silently pray to your respective deity that Justin isn't plagued by the derby jitters thereafter.

Refresher course...

I've had a question regarding the awards that I give out randomly during my Twins posts. More specifically, what the hell the abbreviations mean. I guess I didn't realize that 1) I haven't posted what they mean for quite some time (going on a couple years) and 2) that anyone actually read those posts. But here they are...

MADS - Most. Awesomest. Dude. on the Squad.

CSMA - Currently. Sucking. the Most. Ass.

Mountie Morneau goes 5-5 with a dinger...

...en route to a Twins win against the Tigers at Comerica. The team had to battle back a couple times to get the win. The most recent sign of the apocalypse? Nick Punto is lighting opposing pitchers up. Not only is he a fixture on ESPN's "Web Gems" and "Top Plays", but he's now having one multi-hit game after another. And last night I almost shit myself when Tim Kurkjian said that Nick was the "most athletic player on the field" for the Twins. And he wasn't being hyperbolic. He was dead serious.

Do we really need Delmon Young playing an outfield position? He's got to be the worst left-fielder in the league. He makes Manny Ramirez look like Willie Mays. When Cuddyer comes back, why not let him play right, move Denard to left and DH Delmon? I've heard of worse ideas.

MADS- Justin Morneau. When you need the win, call on the Mountie on Duty (Backyardigans reference. I hate myself)

CSMA - The entire bullpen sans Joe Nathan. Boof especially.

Remember when I said there wasn't much bad to say about the Twins?...

Well, Aaron Gleeman has used his knack for negative to do just that. But even he of the perpetual "glass half empty" couldn't say that the current winning streak was ALL bad.

In other news, Delmon Young retains his rightful position as CSMA winner for swinging on the first pitch offered during two separate at-bats, each with the bases juiced, and producing nothing. There is nothing more frustrating to watch right now than his horrible plate discipline. Coincidentally, Gleeman got that one right.

I figured out why I haven't been blogging about the Twins much...

It's because they've been doing quite well. And considering the fact that the majority of my squawking about them is negative, I haven't had much to say. And that's...good...I guess.

They continued on last night, nipping the Indians for a series sweep at the dome for the first time in a couple years. Delmon Young is really taking his scolding to heart, heating up considerably over his last 40 at-bats. Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer and Joe Nathan have taken their rightful seats at the All-Star table (more on that shitstorm in a bit) and the team continues to battle back from early deficits to get wins. They now sit just 1 game back of the Sox. Unfortunately, the Sox play host to the Royals (who, admittedly, have been better than normal) while the Twins get the Sox at Fenway. David Ortiz won't be there. But do you know who will? Jason Fuckin' Varitek. Scared? No? I didn't think so.

This man is living proof that the All-Star balloting is nonsense. Jason Varitek, who is currently hitting closer to .200 than he is .225, was voted as the reserve catcher for the AL squad. How is that even possible? Are Boston fans filled with that much ignorant allegiance? Are they blinded by his giant belt buckels? Personally, I would be embarrassed. It would be like Twins fans busting ass to get Juan Rincon a spot in the All Star pen, just 'cause they can. The only other "Tek" that has been a bigger failure starred in "Real World Hawaii" and tried, unsuccessfully, to parlay his "talents" into a movie career. Hardly savory company.

I simply do not have the energy to parse through all of the other big-market brain teasers from this year's All Star roster. But some of the most notable? Miguel Tejada? Come again. Derek Jeter? Certainly getting by on his history this year. He's been anything BUT remarkable thus far. David Ortiz? Again, Boston fans, are you guys idiots? The dude has been hurt all year. And when he wasn't hurt, he was shit. I'll give you Drew and Pedroia, but Tek and Ortiz are unforgivable. Alfonso Soriano? I guess Cubs fans are just as dense as their counterparts in Beantown. I understand he was doing quite well through his 200 odd at-bats, but he's hurt people...H.U.R.T. It doesn't make you cooler if you vote your favorite guys on. Besides, God's an Angels fan. Duh. And finally, how in the HELL is Dioner Nevaro the only player from the league's best team? Tampa fans should be ashamed of themselves. It's one thing to criticise them for not going to watch their ballclub play. After all, one must actually get off one's ass and GO to the ballpark to see them, despite the obvious incentive. However, it takes a real POS to be too lazy to click a mouse a couple times. Wow.

UPDATE: Apparently, as a commenter kindly pointed out, "Tek" was voted in by the players and not the fans. I actually heard that on the radio after posting today. I will point out, however, that he was second in fan balotting and was first until quite late in the race. If the Twins didn't have the best catcher since Bench, he would have been voted in by the moronic Boston "nation".

So, in summary, I was mistaken...but not wrong. My hind end is sore from talking out of it so much.

Alright, enough of this nonsense Delmon...

Matt Garza is making look like a pudgy schmuck. You too Harris, although you're kind of off the hook considering Jason Bartlett's shitty .253/.297 /.286 line for the Rays. (I had to double take that slugging percentage too...wow. That's awful).

But Delmon, the second half is waiting for you to justify being acquired for a pitcher that the Twins have hyped since 2nd grade. Two homers just ain't going to cut it. You see Delmon, I didn't like Garza. I thought he was a pompous back patter. But that just makes it all the more painful when you pop out to first base on the very first pitch of the at-bat after the hitter in front of you took first base on a four pitch walk. It's painful because I find myself thinking, "Maybe we should have kept Garza." I don't want to think that Delmon. I want you to make me forget him and his 10 wins and the bevy of scoreless innings. I want you to remind me, through run production, that he wouldn't listen to coaching from Rick Anderson. I want to remember him as a lying sack that threw Twins coaching under the bus when questioned about his arm problems. I want you to remind me that he had a vicious spitting problem. I want to remember Matt Garza as a dirty, no-good poopie head, not the guy we gave away to get Demitri Young's untalented sibling.

Come on. Pull your head out of your ass. You're better than that. Here's your motivation:

CSMA - Delmon Young.
MADS - Denard Span.

Hurts doesn't it? You just got took by Denard Span...he of perpetual minor league destiny. And you'll stay there until you draw at least one walk. And it doesn't count if you get beaned either. You actually have to take 4 pitches out of the strike zone...in the same at bat...and take first base. 10-1 says it's August before that happens.

UPDATE: Delmon's line today was 3-4 with two doubles, a run and a ribbie. Don't tell me that he wasn't hunched in front of his laptop, reading this blog before the game. But alas, poor Delmon, you still didn't eek a walk. And it will take more than one day of mastery to quell my disdain. And no, it wasn't simply a continuation of the .340 hitting over the last 25 games. He took my scolding to heart. Duh.

Hottest club in baseball?...

That was the introduction that Ron Gardenhire's squad got this morning when he appeared as a guest on ESPN radio with Scott Van Pelt. Now, I'm not so sure about this. Hell, I'm not sure they're the hottest team in their DIVISION. Consider this: On June 5th, the Tigers were 10 games under .500. Now, as we say goodbye to June, they sit at one game over .500, just shy of the Twins and White Sox in the AL Central. And look who's coming into the Triple H Shitbox tonight for the start of the series. Big series. Twins need an otherworldy start from Glen Perkins and will have to figure out the red hot rookie Galaraga to even have a chance to slow down the Detroit juggernaut.

That being said, the Twins did enjoy (and to be honest are still enjoying) quite a run at the moment. They were able to rattle off 10 in a row before being derailed by Kobayashi/Livan Hernandez's pathetic outing. Or was it the re-introduction of Nicky Punto to the lineup (batting second for fuck's sake)? Or perhaps it was the multi-talented Corey Hart's bat? If I'm a Brewers fan, he can wear his sunglasses whenever the hell he wants to. Night...Day...whatever. Whatever, it was, they were not about to be the newest sweep.

In any event, the Twins rebounded nicely by putting up more crooked numbers yesterday. That win, and the ten or so preceding it, were in large part a result of great pitching. Slowey's gem yesterday, Nathan's continued mastery, contributions from the unheralded etc. All these things have culminated in a club that is making for an exciting story.

We're at the half-way mark. So what's the synopsis? Here are the assessments:

Again, it seems as though the Twins' off-season acquisitions have fallen flat on their face. I'm not going to rip on Kobayashi either. He's done what the wanted him to come in and do, and then some. He's pitching a shitload of innings. He's provided some decent leadership. And let's be honest, he's won quite a few more games than was expected. The other additions, however, haven't really lived up to the hype. Adam Everette, before taking up permanent residence on the side of a milk carton, was actually quite atrocious. His shitty hitting was not a surprise. We all knew his bat was tiny. However, his glove and range were equally piss-poor. Now I know that he had been hurt for a good portion of that time, but still. This guy was touted as THE best defensive shortstop in baseball coming in. He did nothing productive. He was this year's Juan Castro, only not available to pinch run. Mike Lamb has been horrendous as well. He was brought in with the opposite expectations as his co-Astro Everette. He was brought in to shore up the hitting in the middle of the order at the expense of some balls up the line at third. Well, he's hitting .220 with Tyner power and his glove...well...it's on his hand. He is this year's Tony Batista, only slimmer and without the daily affirmations.

We've gotten solid contribution from Mauer and Morneau. In fact, that tandem, and the fact that they are locked up long term, should excite any non-comatose Twins fan. However, there are some improvements that need to be made.

Michael Cuddyer (who has since been placed on the 15 day DL) needs to get his hands healthy. Sleep with those lotion-lined gloves...quit playing guitar hero on Nintendo DS, no more knuckle-cracking. Whatever is causing him the temporary arthritis, stop...immediately.

Delmon Young needs to make a second half vow to see more than 3 balls per at-bat. Delmon has never seen a first pitch that he hasn't liked. He apparently thinks walks hurt his average too. The power will come. He's a big dude. I expect 15 or so this half. But the plate discipline is disgusting. He makes Torii Hunter look Gwyne-esque out there.

I'm still a HUGE fan of Carlos Gomez. He plays with fire. He's balls out all of the time. He's a little bit cocky. He smells his bat. I just love it. He does need to learn some more of the game and has to develop some better plate discipline to be a serviceable lead-off hitter, but I'm sure excited to watch him try.

Jason Kubel couldn't hit a softball if it were thrown by a left-hander. But he's jolted 12 dingers in limited playing time already this year. And he's not kicking the ball around either. I'll take it.

Brendan Harris started to hit a little better toward the end of the first half, even garnering a "their shortstop is heating up" from an ESPN announcer after eighth-inning dinger off of Trevor Hoffman. However, he's still hitting a scant .249. His defense has improved dramatically since moving to shortstop from second base. The dude just couldn't turn a double play from second. Kudos to Gardy for that one.

Brian Buscher has been lights OUT. He's hit at a .352 clip since his call-up, has racked up 15 ribbies and has seemingly gotten a big 2-out hit every time the opportunity presented itself. And considering the glove he was replacing, his play at third has been more than serviceable.

Casilla is another mid-season call-up that has been playing well. Admittedly, he played over his head for the first few weeks before falling back to earth after 100 at bats or so. However, his presence at the number two spot and his willingness to give the team quality at bats each time, cannot be underestimated. Plus, his play at second has been phenomenal. He's always had a huge arm, so his ability to throw runners out is no surprise. What is shocking, however, is the difference in his confidence. The last time Casilla got called up he looked completely lost, both at the plate AND out in the field. Something is different now, you can tell. Hell, he'd probably be a better lead off hitter than Gomez, considering his OBP is about 60 points higher and his walk-strikeout ratio is, undoubtedly, lower. Maybe move Casilla to one, move Gomez to nine and bat Span second? I digress.

Monroe is doing his thing. He's been relegated to being mainly a pinch bat off the bench. In limited time this year, he's hit for a poor average, hit a few dingers, and gotten on base hardly ever. With Cuddyer hurt, the Twins have called up Denard Span to take his spot in the lineup. This is all that needs to be said about Craig Monroe.

One of my biggest qualms so far? No enough Redmond. I love that guy. And seeing his little balding head sticking out of the dugout isn't enough. I need me some more Red Dawg.

PITCHERS? They're doing alright. I'm bored with this post now so I'm going to go quickly.

Livan - poopy but sometimes not poopy
Blackburn - a knockout
Slowey - aptly named
Perkins - Tremendous Twelve...yummmy...
Boof - start eating again
Reyes - good gig, if you can get it
Crain - he's still there
Guerrier - not quite as boring to watch as he was two years ago
Baker - doing well, and he hasn't gotten his claws in the yankees yet either
Breslow - damn good hitter, apparently
Bass - Like Guerrier when he was in long relief...meh.

This will conclude the geekiest post so far this year. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and watch War Games.

Why do people continue to go to the Metrodome?...

Because it's the cheapest place in the American League to get hammered.

This is really hard to believe, considering the last time I went to the Triple H Shitbox I paid about 8 grand for a giant beer and nachos (which, incidentally, my son spilled). What the hell are they selling in the other stadiums? Faberge egg omelets and 20 year-old Scotch?

Twins rally back...three times...for win in series finale...

...and Joe Mauer was clean shaven.

I must have missed the point of the "no shaving until a home run is hit" deal. Cuddyer hit a home run in game one and promptly shaved his beard to a clean goatee resembling a vagina. Joe Mauer did not hit a home run until tonight. But he was already clean-shaven and back to baby face joe. I'll bet he woke up and realized how pitifully splotchy his growth was and decided that it wasn't worth looking like a crack head for a dinger.

Livan struggled...again....giving up 42 hits and surrendering 5 runs, one of which being a blast from A-Rod, aka "the man with tree trunk legs". He wasn't able to go more than one hitter into the 7th, but Matt Guerrier stepped up and did what he could to minimize the damage. Mauer tied it up in the 7th with a dinger off of Pettite and Delmon Young gave the Twins their only lead in the 8th on his third double of the game. Fittingly, he did it on first pitch swingin'. True Delmon style.

Joe Nathan came in and made sure there were no late-inning heroics.

Some highlights of the evening:

Gomez showing how absolutely BLAZING fast he is by going from first to third on a botched pick off move by Andy Pettite. Gomez actually had to stop himself from trying to score on the play.

Cuddy continued his hot streak going 3-4, upping his season average to .358. He also played a potential double off of the baggy and gunned down Jeter trying to advance. It was his 5th outfield assist of the year. Will they ever learn?

No one got hit in the face and Bobby Abreu, who had been stomping the Twins' pitchers' guts out, went 0-5.

Johnny Damon, in an attempt to emulate Jason Giambi and John Holmes, has grown a mustache. He was also spotted writing a ticket to would-be speeders on 394 after the game.

The "Joba Chamberlain as a starter" experiment has hit a snag before it has officially begun. Yankee fans...is your team REALLY going to rely on Farnsworth to shut teams down in the 8th?

CSMA - Kobayashi. The innings eater threw nothin' but meatballs and the Yankers found that quite nice. He wasn't even able to live up to his namesake, failing to get out of the 7th. This is abouty 4 starts how where he has been, lets say, less than serviceable.

MADS - Mauer. Yeah Joe. That's fun isn't it? Yeah, we like to see that too. Don't be a stranger.

No, I have not posted about the Yanks series yet...

I'll do it after the game tonight. Things that you may see?

Juan Rincon and the question about why the hell the Twins haven't sent him down or traded him for a rosin bag and a half eaten bag of Davids.

The "hot-and-cold-edness" of young Carlos Gomez.

Delmon Young's inability to lay off any first pitch offering...regardless of its proximity to the plate

Nick Blackburn and his new rhinoplasty, courtesy of one Bobby Abreu

Justin Morneau's triple/round-tripper and the Melky Cabrera bizzaro fielding that led to it

Cuss words.

Stay tuned!

So they're not going to shave until they hit home runs?

I just heard on KFAN that Joe Mauer and Michael Cuddyer aren't shaving their beards until they hit home runs. I promptly checked the webernets to corroborate this breaking news. Sure enough, both KFAN "Rube Chat" and a fave blog of mine... "Those Twins Girls" have reported the same.

This could get ugly. No, I mean really...this could get ugly. In other news...I didn't even know Joe Mauer COULD grow a beard. Good on him.

UPDATE: The beard idea seems to have worked...at least for Cuddyer. As the commenter below has so astutely pointed out, Cuddy went yard fairly quickly after making the aforementioned proclamation. However, he must think that the facial hair had something to do with his recent success at the plate, so he didn't shave completely. He showed up to the ballpark the next day sporting a vagina-face goatee. Ish.

Alas, Mauer remains fully bearded. Gettin' itchy yet stretch?

I'm so flippin' stoked for this weekend's series against the Yanks...

I cannot STAND that team. They are the Coyote to my Roadrunner. They are the Big Brother to my Proles. They are the genital herpes to my libido. They are the USSR to my 'Murica.

They are an anathema.

Coming off a sweep of the perennial MLB punching bag Royals, the Twins come back to the dome to test their metal against the last-place, but always scary, Yankees lineup. The hometown faves have a mental problem with the pinstripes. It doesn't matter if they come to the dome 20 games over .500 or dwelling in the cellar (the place they deservedly reside as of today), the Twins have a hard time overcoming the "aura" they bring to the place. Of course, there are always about 20K obnoxious, bandwagon Yankee faithful there to cheer on their demons, so this may have something to do with it. But regardless, this series scares me...it always does. The Yankees are not what they once were, however, they are MUCH better than their record. That lineup is damn good despite its struggles and although the pitching staff is banged up and underachieving, the Twins will see Moose, Wang, Rasner and perhaps a young chap that goes by JOBA. These guys are a combined 16-7 so far this season. Compare this to the inexperienced rabble the Twins will trot out there and one will see why I'm concerned.

Last night's Royals game? Nothing weird happened this time. Wait, that's not entirely accurate. It was weird in that the Twins actually played some really good defense throughout the game. Could it be because Gardy sat his young left fielder on the bench thereby eliminating at least 2 fielding/throwing errors from the corner? I wonder how long he'll sit.

CSMA - Delmon Young. Have fun taking the splinters out of your ass. If he sits tonight, be on the lookout for flying bats.

MADS - Kevin Slowey. Second straight commanding start from the youngster. Just missed a complete game shutout. After the beating the bullpen took in the previous games, this was much needed.

Oh you poor, poor Royals fans...

The only way the Twins could have done MORE to try and lose that game last night would have been to make a position player pitch or pinch run Livan Hernandez for Carlos Gomez. They pulled at least 4 separate fielding boners. Livan gave up 2 billion hits. Zach Grienke was mowing down batters like a Snapper. And Juan Rincon was...well...Juan Rincon. But low and behold, despite a 5-run lead in the ninth, the perpetually-struggling Royals relinquished the lead and lost in 10. Amazing.

Did anyone else have a feeling that, once the Twins got a couple men on base, the entire thing was simply going to unravel? I know I did. I could actually HEAR the Royals give up. It was as though all 9 people on the field, in unison, whispered "uncle".

This is really too bad. I always pull for the Royals. One of the State's Attorneys that I work with frequently (who happens to be a Twins fan as well) has adopted the Royals as his "project team". He roots for them but is constantly amazed at how they simply do not know how to win.

I've come to the conclusion that it's not a matter of personnel, but a matter of philosophy. Something is drastically dicked up over there regarding the way their players approach the game. They have some talented kids. And their manager is no slouch. But there just doesn't seem to be anyone over there that has the correct mindset for winning.

Mr. Guillen agrees with me, apparently.

MADS - Co-winners Monroe and Morneau. Giant hits when we needed them.

CSMA - Delmon Young. Normally I would applaud his ability to coax two walks. However, the fact that he absolutely SUCKS in the field right now, and the hangover from yesterday's craptastic blunder, makes me want to keep him in time-out for a while. He can come out when he learns to play better with others.

Winning weird...

Last night's 12th inning win for the Twins was one of the stranger games one will see. Nick Blackburn shuts down a hapless Royals squad through 8 1/3 innings, only to put two men on and see Joe Nathan blow a save opportunity on his very first offering. If that wasn't odd enough, the blown save came on an in-the-park dinger which was as much a product of dumb-luck placement of the hit as it was the infuriating lack of enthusiasm shown by the Twins left fielder Delmon Young. I'm not going to give the kid flack for the attempted sliding catch. I like to see outfielders go balls out for balls when there's a chance they can get to them. However, it would be nice to see Delmon hustle after the ball once he's realized he's missed instead of galloping slowly after it as though he had given up on the play and conceded the tied ballgame.

In better news, it was the most unlikely of hitters (at least lately) that saved the day for our favorite team...Michael Cuddyer. He was able to punch a little liner to right field to score Mauer and give the Twins the go-ahead run. Matty Guerrier locked down the save. But while it's always nice to notch a win, it is more than troubling at how they let a desperate team back into the game through yet ANOTHER shitty fielding play.

What's the deal. For years this team has been built upon solid pitching, station-to-station hitting and quality defense. Right now we've got some REALLY shoddy fielding, a rotation filled with youngsters (and one old dude with a 55 mph curveball) and a lineup who has recently seemed to abandon the bunt in favor of allowing it's "hitters" to swing away. I don't like it. I don't get it. I want it changed...now. Get me Gardy on the horn.

UPDATE: What's worse than Delmon Young playing suckhole defense and swinging at everything within a 5-mile radius of home plate? How about the fact that the guy the Twins traded to GET him is 4-1 on the year and just did this.

Twins baffled by...Ponson?

That's right ya'll. Former Twin and Carribean dream Sydney Ponson just put on a clinic at the Triple H Shitbox. Nick Blackburn cruised for 5 innings and then hit a buzzsaw in the 6th. After it was over, he had surrendered 7 runs. Granted, most of them were unearned on account of Casilla booting the ball around the infield. But during that inning, the wheels effectively came off, rolled down the highway, and killed someone in an oncoming vehicle.

MADS - I'm going to give it to Nick Blackburn for not shoving a maple bat up Casilla's hinder in that aweful sixth.

CSMA - Cuddyer. Why doesn't he just hand the ball to the third baseman and have him throw it to first. That's what's going to happen anyway. This would save time.

Well that was as weird game...

I can't really explain it, but I'll try in as few words as I can.

The Twins won in 12 innings. Highlights include:

Morneau failing on all three chances to win the game
Cuddyer failing on all three chances to win the game
Juan Rincon struggling, loading the bases, walking 3 billion people, and generally sucking ass
Ron Gardenhire giving up his designated hitter as a strategy move late in the ballgame
David Korecky wriggling out of the bases loaded jam that Juan Rincon kindly placed them in
David Korecky hitting a single when he was asked to bat - see number 4 above.
Journeyman Howie Clark knocks in the winning run with a double over Hamilton's head
Livan Hernandez was on deck.

If that last one isn't enough of an explanation of the circus that was last night's game, I don't know what could be.

CSMA - Morneau. Horrible baseball. Just horrible.
MADS - The unlikely duo of Korecky/Clark. The Rochester explosion came up big.

One mile above sea level = Twins sucking wind...

In the rubber match of the three-game series against the not-so-threatening Rockies, the Twins managed to play the worst baseball that I've seen in quite some time. There was bad pitching, baserunning, defense and managing. And Carlos Gomez wasn't even playing, so I can't blame it on the "youth" factor.

Can someone just admit that there's something wrong with Adam Everette? His range doesn't seem to be all that effected, but the dude can't throw a lick. He's having trouble making the routine throws from the position. And making throws deep in the hole is a downright impossibility. It's almost painful to watch. When you add to that that the fact that he couldn't hit the baseball right now if it were the same circumference as a Deek's XXL pepperoni, I would say that shortstop is a "problem position" right now. Matt Tolbert was a promising replacement for a while there, but he pulled a boner and hurt himself sliding into first. That is the dumbest play in all of baseball, if you ask me. It's never effective and the chance of getting hurt is damn high. He's been sitting next to Punto too often on the bench.

The Twins play the Texas Ranger tonight at the dome. Last time the they met up with the Rangers, they were the worst team in baseball...and the Twins were promptly swept. This time, the Rangers come in flying high and playing some decent baseball. Not sure what to expect. Just to be safe, I'm going to wear all of my Twins regalia to dinner. My wife will surely have a heart attack.

I had visions of a prolonged stay on top of the AL Central....

...and then the Blue Jays, and their horseshit offense, funny accents and ugly uniforms, came into the Triple H Shitbox and totally ruined my dream. I hate Canada and their ass-team. Matt Stairs, and his goofy little head, is my new least favorite person ever.

Seriously, the Twins gave all three of those games away. Boof goes out and lays a big steamer in the first inning on Tuesday and the team rallies but falls short. The team struggles on defense (as they did in game one) and loses a close one on Wednesday. Then, on Friday, the kids run themselves out of a win on the basepaths...TWICE.

A few observations. One, I know that Brendan Harris gives us a bit more pop at second. But he costs us runs because he simply cannot turn a double play. It's becoming really frustrating. For a team that doesn't score runs, defense has to be of utmost importance. He isn't cutting it.

Two, when is someone going to put Scotty Ulger out of his misery at third base? He's obviously not capable of manning that coaching position. I know it's being said that Kubel ran through the stop sign. I don't blame him. Scotty Ulger's decisions at third base are normally piss poor. I wouldn't listen to him either. Besides, he shouldn't have still been on base at that point anyway. Gardy had Casilla AND Gomez on the bench. In the 7th inning, with the score tied, and your team struggling for runs, you pinch run for Kubel. End of story.

The team heads out to Coors Stadium this afternoon for an interleague nightgame against the Rockies today. We need some homers. Perhaps the homer happy confines of that stadium will be the cure to what ails them.